Emrys's blog

http://www.runleiarun.com/lebowski/

(There's already talks going on to produce this.)

As part of an enrichment exercise at the Bronx Zoo, the spider monkeys got a treat - blue jello filled with blueberries.  It was designed to stimulate their foraging instincts, and watching them figure out just what the hell they're dealing with is pretty funny.

A while ago, some of you might remember I introduced the guild to a fellow by the name of Ulillillia, who had some rather interesting fixations and saw everything in his world in video-game terms.  While Ulillillia is certainly an interesting case (and still around, although he updates his site much less frequently), tonight I'm going to take you down a much darker path. 

What you see above is the first issue of the "Sonichu" comic book.  You might think the creature on the cover is a little derivative, it takes hardly any imagination to see him as a cross between Sonic the Hedgehog and Pikachu.  (This is, in fact, exactly how said creature is created in this, the first issue.)  The fellow to the left is the author and artist of this comic, Christian W. Chandler.  Plagiarism, Mary-Sueism, portmanteauing two popular characters into one - you're thinking to yourself "this isn't surprising, kids do this all the time".

Christian Weston Chandler is twenty-seven years old. 

So, a lot of you know I keep guinea pigs, and I just thought I'd share something with you about the owner/rescue community that I admire (and a reason I'd gladly run over anyone who breeds animals for profit with a combine harvester, douse the remains in kerosene and ignite them, and perform an authentic Ojibwe rain dance around the burning corpse in an attempt to save this year's corn crop).

There's a breed of guinea pig known as the dalmatian, and ot looks exactly like you'd expect - white fur with black spots.  They fetch a pretty price, so they're constantly in demand.  The problem is, like a lot of specialty breeding, creating dalmatians requires fucking around with recessive genes and carefully-chosen pairs.  50% of the resulting pups will not have the coloring, while 25% will be dalmatians.  It's the remaining 25% that are the problem.

Good thing: Getting back in touch with loads of old friends.

Bad thing: Discovering that they spent all the time between when you last knew them and now eating paint chips and are now frighteningly retarded.

If you've got a guy wearing a radio mic for a TV show, and he excuses himself to go use the restroom, FOR THE LOVE OF FUCK WILL YOU TURN OFF HIS MIC WHEN HE LEAVES THE ROOM PLEASE

You ever see something so stupid that it actually induces physical pain? 

I use Virgin Mobile for my cell phone, because the only time I ever use the goddamn thing is for the exceedingly rare business call, so with prepaid I get off really cheap.  I get a newsletter from them every month, and lately they've been hyping the shit out of texting.  In the latest issue, there was a piece about "texting safety", where they mentioned how dangerous it can be to text while driving.

But good news, everybody!  There's a company that's out to reduce the danger of texting while otherwise occupied.  They're called Vlingo, and they're pioneering next generation speech-to-text technology for use with cell phones!

I'M NOT FUCKING MAKING THIS UP, PEOPLE.

http://www.vlingo.com/

Now you can share my brain pain.

http://www.heartattackgrill.com/

Saw this on TV this morning and thought it had to be a joke.  Hamburger restaurant in Arizona, their menu consists of burgers (up to the Quadruple Bypass Burger), all you can eat fries cooked in pure lard, booze, Jolt, and sugar sodas, and unfiltered Lucky Strikes for afters.  All the waitresses are dressed as nurses, and if you finish a Quadruple Bypass they wheel you out to your car in a wheelchair.  And, if you're over 350lbs, you eat for free.

I think I'm going to open a barbecue place where we just randomly shoot at patrons when they enter the building.  If you take a bullet, your meal is on the house!

Technically, in a very, very, very six-times removed kind of way, I'm working with Alton Brown.

I love my job.